BOOBS!!!!!!!
I made a resolution at the beginning of this year to blog at
least once a month. If I failed, I’d donate $100 to a charity of my choosing. I
made it longer than I expected, but my busy travel schedule has caught up with
me and it’s now been almost two months since my last blog.
Whoops.
So, I will be donating $200 to a charity. Since October is
national breast cancer awareness month, it only makes sense to donate to something
that supports victims of breast cancer. Now is where I have an excuse to go on
a small rant, which I’m sure is exactly what you all were hoping for in a blog
with “Boobs” in the title. Gotcha!
Us Americans tend to have a reputation for being uninformed
consumers. Shocking. I know. I can’t think of an example where this is more prevalent
than all the pink “breast cancer awareness/support” merchandise for sale in
seemingly every store. A quick Google search turns up “Pink Ribbon” potato
chips, mops, shoes, guns, cameras, sunglasses, staplers, etc. etc. The list
goes on and on and on and on. You can even buy “Pink Ribbon” thongs and sex
toys. I don’t know about you, but if I were diagnosed with breast cancer, I
can’t think of a single thing more touching than someone telling me they
purchased the “Justin’s Timber Vibrator” to support my fight! After all, it’s
“bringing sexy back.”
The biggest problem here lies in the fact that the majority
of these products use the breast cancer platform as a way to generate publicity
and create profit, without giving much back. That $69 Pink Blender you just
bought from Bed Bath and Beyond to show support for your dear Aunt Betty? I’ve got some bad news. First, it’s going to
look like hell in your kitchen. Second, you could have purchased a white one,
not ridiculously marked up for its ugly ass color, and written your Aunt Betty
a check for $2.07 instead. That measly 3% of the purchase is the only amount
donated towards Breast Cancer Research. The manufacturer is pocketing the rest.
Unfortunately that 3% is more than some companies are giving
back. I can’t remember the exact wording, but I recently picked up a pink ribbon
bracelet in a gas station and the small writing on the package had some sort of
eloquent legal jargon that said something along the lines of “This product is
intended to raise awareness for cancer. No proceeds from purchase are directly
given to charity.” Translation: “Thanks for buying this pink bracelet idiot! We
really appreciate your money and we will use it wisely in future scams.”
Even the products that DO give proceeds to charities are
often giving them to the wrong ones. The American Breast Cancer Foundation is
one of the more popular charities for companies to donate profits from pink
ribbon proceeds to. It is rated 4th on the list of America’s worst
charities. Out of the 59.8 million dollars raised by the “Charity” since 1997,
only 4.2 million has been given to actually aid breast cancer detection for low
income women, while over 18 million was paid out to the president’s son for
“solicitation services.” Unfortunately, this is more common than we’d like to
think. Of the 50 charities listed as “America’s Worst,” 13 of them are related
to cancer, with another 13 devoted to “helping” children. There aren’t many
things scarier to society than cancer and suffering children. These soulless bastards
know this, and are using that knowledge to suck the money out of our back
pockets for their vacation homes in Tahoe and Range Rovers in every color. It’s
infuriating to think of the profit being made at the hands of someone's
misinformed attempt to help those in need.
Last week, I attended the funeral of LeAnn Krzmarzick, who
was the mother of my good friend. She was only 56 and passed away after a brutal
three-year battle with breast cancer.
When I called to ask my friend Elly permission to write this
blog, and talk about her mother, she instantly agreed, saying it’s something
her mom would want. Elly explained that throughout her life LeAnn was diligent
about her health, attending every routine check-up and always complying with
recommended tests. That is, until a job change left her for a couple years
without health insurance. When given a choice between preventative check-ups or
paying the bills, LeAnn chose the bills. It’s the same choice we’d all make. During
the period she was most helpless, is when cancer attacked. By the time a
diagnoses was made, LeAnn had stage 4 (incurable) breast cancer.
Elly, fresh in her grief, seemed to welcome the excuse to
talk to someone about her mom. She kept it together as she told me about her
mother’s protective nature and the strength she showed in her three-year fight
against this non-discriminating serial killer. I, on the other hand, sat at my
desk with tears rolling down my face. We all know life isn’t fair, but certain
moments strike us more than others. I guess this was one of those moments for
me.
I’ll save my health care rant for another blog, but I
couldn’t help but think about what could have been. The American Breast Cancer
foundation lists “providing financial assistance for breast cancer screenings
and diagnostic tests for uninsured and underserved individuals, regardless of
age or gender” as their mission. It sounds like a wonderful idea, exactly the
type of service that LeAnn could have used. And maybe, just maybe, if they put
more than a measly 6% of donations given towards their actual mission, she
could have gotten that much needed mammogram. Maybe she’d still be here,
spending time with her 8 grandchildren, tending to her beloved pets.
Please don’t think I don’t support breast cancer awareness,
research, and support. I wholeheartedly do. In fact, it’s why I’m writing this
blog. At her mother’s funeral, Elly wore a bright pink scarf. It was symbolic
of her mom’s fight against breast cancer. It also served as a reminder to me
that the pink products are meant to be a symbol of solidarity for those
impacted by this dreadful disease. I want to see pink everywhere. But, when I
see those pink products, I also want to feel good inside, knowing that person
donated to a worthy cause. LeAnn never
gave up in her fight against cancer. We shouldn’t give up fighting to make sure
people like LeAnn get the testing, help, treatment, and support they need
through properly utilized donations.
If you want to donate consider the following options:
*Donate directly to someone: Maybe this is just a small town
thing, but it seems around here you can’t walk out of a gas station without
seeing a bulletin board advertising a benefit for someone suffering from some
sort of life threatening illness. My friends and I had the pleasure of helping
put together a benefit for Elly’s mom about a month before she passed. I felt
great paying a ridiculous amount, for some item I knew I didn’t need, during
the silent auction because I knew the money was going directly to LeAnn.
*Donate directly to a medical facility: This one was
actually Elly’s idea as she recalled how fondly her mother felt about the newly
renovated oncology center in our small town. Through fundraising efforts and
donations, the once sterile hospital environment has been turned into a family
friendly, comforting area. Donate blankets and pillows so the uncomfortable
process can be a tiny bit more bearable. Donate books or magazines for patients
to look at while they receive their treatments. If you don’t have money, donate
your time! Any little bit helps.
*Donate to a charity that efficiently utilizes funds towards
the research, prevention, treatment, and cure of breast cancer: It can be
overwhelming to research this on your own, but CharityNavigator.com has done
the work for you. The site provides you with the specific breakdown of many
major charities finances. You can find out who spends 98% on “administrative
costs” and who spends 2%.
*Buy “Pink” products that disclose the financial distribution:
A water bottle that says “100% of proceeds go to…” is a good purchase. One that
says “portions of proceeds go to….” Probably not a good purchase.
It would be nice if we could just indiscriminately purchase
and give knowing our donations are being used properly. Unfortunately, we
can’t. But please don’t let the greed and corruption from some take away from
the generosity and good efforts of others. By making smart purchases we can
continue to support the battle of good over evil. Be generous, but be informed.
As for me and my failed timely blogging attempt? I’ll be donating $200 to the New Ulm Medical
Center oncology department in honor of LeAnn Krzmarzick.
LeAnn Krzmarzick
6/15/1957-10/9/2013
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