Liberty and Justice for All!!!

Wow, I feel like the sky just came crashing down. For anyone who lives under a rock or isn't up to speed on current events in the poker world, the Department of Justice unsealed an indictment against the founders of the three biggest sites in online poker, Full Tilt, PokerStars, and Absolute Poker. There were also restraining orders issued against over 75 bank accounts used by online poker companies and their payment processors as well as five internet domain names according to pokernews.com.
It's still early enough that nobody knows exactly what this means, and hopefully the poker world is overreacting and this will all blow over, but it doesn't look good at the moment and as of right now I am almost certainly unemployed. PokerStars has already blocked Americans from playing on their site and I would not be surprised if the other two follow suit soon. I'm guessing it is useless to withdrawal at this point seeing as how the bank accounts used to process poker payments all have restraining orders issued against them. So basically, I am out of a job and there is a very real possibility that the money I have in my online poker sites is either gone forever, or will be stuck in limbo for a very long time while this is all sorted out.

I can't really even begin to explain how I'm feeling right now. If I had to sum it up in a few words I'd say betrayed, scared, and sad.

I feel betrayed because I grew up believing I lived in the "freest country in the world." As a child, this is so engrained in your head you at least momentarily have a blind faith that your government always has your best interest in mind. They will serve and protect you because that's what you've been taught right? Unfortunately as I grew older and became more aware of life's happenings, I realized this completely idealistic picture might not always be accurate, but I still had faith in the overall fairness of the government. Even when the Unlawful Internet Gaming Act of 2006 was passed (thought of as the first strike by the government against online poker players), I had faith that in the end, everything would work itself out. I couldn't fathom that the government would ever truly tell the citizens of the United States of America that they could not use their own money, and play a game of skill, from the comforts of their home. I mean, our constitution protects us from such injustice right??? Now here I sit today, in total shock, that this is actually happening. The government who I diligently pay my taxes to, who I had faith in, is essentially telling me I cannot play online poker. I'm hurt, betrayed, and quite frankly embarrassed by the time and effort the government has put into shutting down online poker. I don't see how this is a priority while we fight two wars, continue to cut school budgets, and release dangerous sex offenders into public because we cannot "afford" to keep them locked up.


The reasons I'm scared and sad go hand in hand. I'm scared because I really don't have a job at the moment. I woke up and this morning was like every other day. I was going to sit at my computer and work for roughly five hours. Then I'd break to pick up my little guy from daycare, hang out with him and the husband for a while, make dinner, and resume the grind after he went to bed. Instead I was blown away by the news that this routine was no longer going to be a reality for me. Of course, I have my nursing degree to fall back on, and for that, I'm very thankful, but it doesn't offer me any immediate comfort. I was happy with the job I had. I was good at poker. Damn good actually. I took pride in that. Some might not understand, but I feel like a lot of my dreams may have been dashed in this process. As I was talking to my sister in law on the phone about this whole mess I told her that perhaps the worst part was that I'd never have a chance to achieve my poker goals. I could have handled trying, and failing but to never even get the opportunity stings deeply.


These are just some of the thoughts running through my head right now. I apologize if this comes off as a "poor me" post. I want it to be clear that while I am feeling betrayed, scared, and sad, ultimately I will be fine. I have an incredibly supportive family, wonderful friends, and the most beautiful little boy in the world. While I may not end up getting everything I wanted out of poker, I have been blessed to be given the head start in life that poker has provided me. I'm not sure what the future holds for me but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the world hasn't even come close to hearing the last of "dmoongirl."


Thanks for reading-
Danielle